Monday, October 15, 2007
This last week has been a hard one for me. This past week has had sickness and hurt feeling by people that I love. My sister had a heartache and my best friend is down in the back going to have to have a MRI while I am gone. Satan has fought me in ways and used people that I still am totally blow away by. But I know that Satan is the enemies for my family and friends. Even up to yesterday Satan has been trying to defeat me. But greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. And the victory is GOD'S
I have had so many people that have prayed for me and with me that I feel so very special. Words can never express what a blessing they have all been to me. I ask that you keep me in your prayers.
Will post more I am sure when I return in 2 weeks
Friday, October 5, 2007
I have been asking myself the question How steadfast am I in my walk with Christ and I am sorry to say no where as steadfast as I should be. To honor God, spend time with him, serve him, to just love him is the one thing that matters most to me and is the hardest thing for me to do at times. The one person My Heavenly Father that loves me so much and that I love so much is the one that gets pushed aside for other things and is the one person that I hurt so much. In my heart I don't want too, I so want to just be about my Fathers business all the time, spending time with him. I know how it hurts me to be the one always pushed aside by others, have them say I would spend time with you, but I have to do whatever, but I promise we will spend time together later. How many times do I tell God this, not right now God I will spend time with you later, I will read those scriptures you are laying on my heart later, I will spend time talking with you later, and yes Lord I will just sit and Be still and know that you are Lord, later. And yes I will get around to telling that person you laid on my heart about you real soon. I think to myself oh my gosh look how I am breaking the heart of GOD!!!! All he wants from me is to just spend time with him, he gave his life for me. And when I think about that it overwhelms me that he really wants to spend time with me, see I have a hard time thinking that anyone would want to spend time with just me. I have a big inferior complex I don't see myself good enough. But I have come to realize that the creator of everything, the Lord of Lords, King of Kings thinks I good enough for him and that's all that really matters
O God please forgive me, please help me to do what I say, to put you fist, not to break your heart not to think that I am to busy to spend time with you. Help me Lord to stand STEADFAST in you, in your love, in your word. Help me Lord to stand steadfast in starting and ending each day with you. Not to push you aside for other things.
Father there is a verse that you have put on my heart so many times lately.
"Let the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, my redeemer." Psalm 19:14
This is so what I want Father to just be acceptable to you, just to be steadfast in your love, in your word. To be steadfast for you in serving and sharing your love with others. O GOD how I love you and thank you that you even when I don't put you first, Lord you always put me first. You put me first in front of your own life when you die on the cross for my sins, that I may have life eternal. Thank you Lord that sometimes you just walk all over my heart to remind me that you are MY LORD AND SAVIOR AND YOU WILL HAVE NO OTHERS BEFORE YOU.
Thank you Father that even though this was a hard lesson for D to teach he was steadfast enough in you that he taught it anyway. Thank you that it was a hard lesson for me to have to listen to because Father those lessons turn out to be the greatest blessings.
Thank you Father that as I sit and look out my window and ponder on the question you have set before me on How Steadfast I am, that your sweet holy spirit comes to bring me peace and joy. As the tears of joy flow from my eyes you remind me that you see my heart and that you are there working on me to make me steadfast in your love. Thank you that you love me so very much. And O GOD HOW I LOVE YOU AND JUST WANT TO SERVE YOU.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Two weeks from today I leave for my trip to the Holy Lands. I am so excited and also am a bit nervous. This trip is a dream no a prayer come true. All my life I have prayed that one day God would let me go the Holy Lands. I mean just think to walk were he walked and see the place he was crucified for my sins, to see the empty tomb, because Praise GOD he arose on the 3rd day so that I could live. Just to be going is unbelievable for me still at times. But to be going with Pastor Ralph Sexton Jr., that was just an extra blessing God gave. For me to be going is truly a blessing from God. Let me share my story with you.
This year I had to have some work done on my house and I knew that this year was the year I had to do it (so did GOD). I had when to revival services were Brother Ralph was preaching he told that he was getting up a trip to the Holy Land and I was like oh how I would love to go. But being single it was a little more money than I could afford. But then when I called to get estimation my room, I told GOD. I said God you know that I would love to go on this trip, but I have to have that room fixed, so here is the X amount of money I have. If you want me to go than I pray that the room comes in under this amount enough so that I can go. I at that time only told my Pastor and ask him to help me pray. I then when to my very faithful prayer partner and ask for help praying. Well, the room came in under the X amount of money, but you know how we are we don't just trust GOD with that simple answer. I said OK God I have the money what about a passport at that time there was waiting list to get your passport. I by now had shared my prayer request with a few close friend and had them praying. Well I mailed my passport papers off, paid extra to get them processed faster. The lady at the post office told me I could have them is 6 to8 weeks and that if I didn't I would need to start tracing them. Well God answered another pray I had my passport in less than 2 weeks. So I knew that it was GOD working out everything for me to go.
Today I shared with some close friends that I am wandering if I am doing the right thing and of courses Satan is starting to put questions in my mind and throw obstacles in my path. My mom is sick and having to have some test. I had to have brakes on my van today. But I know God will take care of all that.My greatest prayer request is for my families salvation. I have sister, brother-in-laws, nieces and nephews that are lost. I know without a doubt that if something was to happen to me while I am on this trip that I would awake in heaven in the arms of the one who loves me more than he loved his on life, and should he sound the trumpet to take all the saved to heaven I can think of no better place to go from. But, then there is my family yesterday our Associated Pastor Paul preached and he preached on hell. He made a comment about how God will one day wipe the tears form our eyes, but that will not be until after he cast the unsaved into hell. Preacher Paul said you know we the saved will be there present to hear God say to them Depart from me I never knew you, that breaks my heart because I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO HEAR GOD SAY THAT TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
God tells us in his word that "The effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16b
I know we all have lost family and friends, so I ask that you help me pray for them and I will pray for your lost ones. And we together will claim God's promise to hear our prayer.