I told you that I work with the youth in my church. On Wednesday nights we go the youth house for service. We have 3 male teachers that bring the lessons, and occasionally we have other speakers. Well, this week we had a lesson on being steadfast We were ask several different times What are we steadfast in? We were giving several Scriptures to turn to on different ways to be steadfast. On Thursday I was typing an e-mail to my friend D about it and I thought this might be a topic for a blog, so here goes.
I have been asking myself the question How steadfast am I in my walk with Christ and I am sorry to say no where as steadfast as I should be. To honor God, spend time with him, serve him, to just love him is the one thing that matters most to me and is the hardest thing for me to do at times. The one person My Heavenly Father that loves me so much and that I love so much is the one that gets pushed aside for other things and is the one person that I hurt so much. In my heart I don't want too, I so want to just be about my Fathers business all the time, spending time with him. I know how it hurts me to be the one always pushed aside by others, have them say I would spend time with you, but I have to do whatever, but I promise we will spend time together later. How many times do I tell God this, not right now God I will spend time with you later, I will read those scriptures you are laying on my heart later, I will spend time talking with you later, and yes Lord I will just sit and Be still and know that you are Lord, later. And yes I will get around to telling that person you laid on my heart about you real soon. I think to myself oh my gosh look how I am breaking the heart of GOD!!!! All he wants from me is to just spend time with him, he gave his life for me. And when I think about that it overwhelms me that he really wants to spend time with me, see I have a hard time thinking that anyone would want to spend time with just me. I have a big inferior complex I don't see myself good enough. But I have come to realize that the creator of everything, the Lord of Lords, King of Kings thinks I good enough for him and that's all that really matters
O God please forgive me, please help me to do what I say, to put you fist, not to break your heart not to think that I am to busy to spend time with you. Help me Lord to stand STEADFAST in you, in your love, in your word. Help me Lord to stand steadfast in starting and ending each day with you. Not to push you aside for other things.
Father there is a verse that you have put on my heart so many times lately.
"Let the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, my redeemer." Psalm 19:14
This is so what I want Father to just be acceptable to you, just to be steadfast in your love, in your word. To be steadfast for you in serving and sharing your love with others. O GOD how I love you and thank you that you even when I don't put you first, Lord you always put me first. You put me first in front of your own life when you die on the cross for my sins, that I may have life eternal. Thank you Lord that sometimes you just walk all over my heart to remind me that you are MY LORD AND SAVIOR AND YOU WILL HAVE NO OTHERS BEFORE YOU.
Thank you Father that even though this was a hard lesson for D to teach he was steadfast enough in you that he taught it anyway. Thank you that it was a hard lesson for me to have to listen to because Father those lessons turn out to be the greatest blessings.
Thank you Father that as I sit and look out my window and ponder on the question you have set before me on How Steadfast I am, that your sweet holy spirit comes to bring me peace and joy. As the tears of joy flow from my eyes you remind me that you see my heart and that you are there working on me to make me steadfast in your love. Thank you that you love me so very much. And O GOD HOW I LOVE YOU AND JUST WANT TO SERVE YOU.