Saturday, December 8, 2007

Change of Plans

This weekend the big girls weekend away.

Thursday evening pack - Thursday night one of our youth had a bad wreck and was killed. Spend the next few hours on phone with D and M trying to find out what happen. Online with a youth they are starting to find out the news, hearts are breaking questions are flying. Around 11:30pm meet up with a group of about 25 older youth and parents just to be together remembering, praying and drawing strength from God and each other. Get home around 2:30 don't rest good wake crying.
Friday packed bag still sitting there - Go to work have to see L need to talk and request prayer. Leave work to go be with D praying help us LORD Satan working on feeling that are already on edge. Spend the day with D, E and O. D was making plans on what we needed to do for the youth that night. Phones ringing sometimes 3 phones at once. To take a break away from it all meet up with M and A for lunch at Chick-fil-A. Witness GOD work in a great and mighty way. That night we meet a large group of youth and parents just to be together another time of sharing memories, praying and drawing strength from GOD and each other. Get home around 10:30 to find my 10 year old nephew there to spend the night. We were up until 1am watching the Polar Express, normally J sleeps with me, but this time he said I think I will sleep in the other room by myself. Any other time I would have jump for joy to hear him say that but that night I was kind of looking ward to him sleeping with me, just to love on him they grow up so fast. I tried to talk him into sleep there, but it didn't work. Finally got to sleep wake crying.
Saturday packed bag still there - up and just spend the morning praying and seeking God. I ask God what was this thing waking up crying, I don't remember dreaming and I wasn't crying went I when to sleep. God in his tender way reminded me. When I am hurting and need a place to go to that I know I am loved and safe, I image myself crawling up on my Saviors lap and he just holds me and lets me cry, so that is why I wake crying its because GOD has taken me to my safe place.
Afternoon my great niece who is 4 comes to spent the night, so I take her and J to the Christmas parade and out to Bob Evans for supper that is J favorite place to eat. Starting writing this post and L is laying her and we are watching guess what the Polar Express. She is so excited she keeps saying look it's Santa, just what I need to spend time watching the delight of little face.
Sunday packed bag still there - By the strength of GOD we got through this day. Church was hard. I sit by myself a lot and that does bother me, but today was different just needed to sit with someone. My friend H let me sit with her and we just hugged and told each other that we love the other. The receiving for C is today.
Monday packed bag still there - Today is the funeral and the church was full. Preacher spoke and so did C's basketball coach, M, D, E all spoke. It was a wonderful time of remembering we cry ed and laughed. What a wonderful celebration of life I am sure that C was pleased. E got roses for the youth and others to have, they could keep them or give them to C everyone gave them to C.
Tuesday packed bag still there - Trying to get back into regular routine is hard. Got word today that the Lord took our precious angel Suzi home today, here celebration on life will be on Saturday.
These last couple of months have been months of pain and heartaches. Seems like none of the hurts are healing. Just so need God.


Deidre said...

I'm so in awe of God and how He works. I think back over the past week and wonder if I dreamed the whole thing. I feel like we've have skipped over a week of our lives. God is so gracious to me that He brought one of my very best friends to my doorstep on Friday morning. I barely remember you saying you were coming and I don't think I could recall a conversation we had while you were here, but I feel that you were here. I'm thankful you were. My children could have played in the street that day and I don't think I would have noticed, so you saved us :)

It all seems like a horrible dream, but sadly is reality. I feel like I'm failing miserably at being a Mom right now. I keep praying they aren't too scarred by this past week. My mood is terrible no matter how much I pray for it not to be.

Hey - go ahead and unpack that bag. I don't think any of us are leaving each other any time soon. We would be miserable if we left one another.

I've never felt God's grace like I have the past week. I got an e-mail from a youth yesterday that said, "Thank you for taking the time to serve me when you needed to grieve yourself". Wow!

We're so blessed.

I love you!!!

Anonymous said...

IT amazes me at the strength of your devotion and love for those young people and the ministry team members, God has so called you and you are so blessed, you don't realize how much I admire what you guys have and how tight everyone is with the Lord and each other, I can only hope and pray for
God to give us that at M. I hope we can have lunch together today, I have missed talking and being encouraged in the Lord during my work day. Please remember me in prayer, the Lord knows exactly what we need even before we know how or what to ask for.

Much love sis' see you then,,,,,,,