It's Christmas

It's Christmas I love Christmas, I love shopping for family and friends looking for the one thing I think they would want for Christmas. I love decorating I decorate inside and outside every room has some kind of Christmas decoration in it. I even made a shower curtain for the bathroom. I love baking cookies to give family and friends. I love going Christmas caroling and coming back for cookies and hot chocolate. I love the way the house smells of Christmas. I love watching Christmas movies. My every favorite Christmas thing is on Christmas eve with all the family here before opening gifts or eating of the wonderful snacks, we all sit around and Kandra (my oldest niece who is 28 and we started this when she was around 6) reads the Christmas story from the book of Luke.
But this year I just can not seem to get into the Christmas Spirit. I have done every little shopping, no decorations but a tree, no baking, no Christmas smells, I have watched 1 Christmas movie. We did take the youth kids to one home Saturday night to carol and came back to the church and have donuts (David our youth director is a state trooper, and hot chocolate. And I so loved it the kids just spend time together cutting up and having a good time.
This year I want Christmas to be different I just want to be surrounded by those that I love my family and friends, I just want everyone to be happy just being together. I want us to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. That Jesus was born to die for us. That that little baby boy on the first Christmas held our live in his hands as small as they were. That God is love. I want to just have God moments were we can just feel God's presence all around us. I want to be like Mary in Luke 2:19 "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." I want to have times like those, where we can look back and say did you see how God moved, and wasn't it just wonderful that we got to just be together. I just want to be so focused on GOD these next couple of weeks.
I don't think I have every had such a time as this, that I so need to have GOD the center of my life. That I just want to be what GOD wants me to be. I want to do just what I Thessalonians 2:12 "That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory." That is what I so badly want to just be worthy of GOD. I just want the name of my Lord and Savior to be glorified in me.